A Perspective Shift
Shifting from the humanitarian world to full-time motherhood has its fill of challenges. Costa Rica has been a recharge destination. One so full of life and beauty that it demands our hearts to slow down and pay attention. Perhaps, with time, it will wear off. For now I greatly enjoy the mix of rain and shine and rhythms of life that this season of motherhood brings.
These days my mind wanders in what feels like a major reset. A perspective shift from constantly trying to figure it all out: Where will we live? What will we do? What is our five-year dream? To one of letting go and holding on. Letting go of what I thought I wanted to build or where we should be and holding on to the good gifts of this season. If I look back at all the major shifts in life, God always provides the next steps at just the right time. At a moment’s notice, God can move and reveal something we had never considered before. No amount of pondering or worrying add or detract from whatever lay ahead.
Recently, on a normal visit to a friend’s house, an opportunity to move to a new home in Costa Rica arose. Up until then, all felt settled, all felt well – and by the end of the week we said yes to a move. An unexpected change, and what felt like a God send for this next chapter of our life. We’ll be in our new home this August, settling once more, with the familiar dance of making a rental feel like home.
The new home is in Atenas, Costa Rica, closer to my dear friend Helen that I wrote about in the previous post. In fact, I was elated to find it’s only a three-minute drive or 15-minute walk. It is a small coffee town and apparently a hot spot for retirees. I am excited about the potential of the new place. Swimming lessons for the girls, soccer, a school, and an exercise room where I hope to host woman’s workout sessions. Yet, I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself and am trying my best to be present during these last two weeks at our home in Grecia.
I haven’t been writing as much as planned. And that’s ok. There is a season for production and a season to rest. Over the last year, in between the mundane of raising a baby and toddler, 14 people visited and explored the Costa Rican rainforest, coffee fields, and oceanside with us. It has been amazing. I also thought that amongst a move to a new country and a change in my identity as full time mom that I could also finish a book with Marigold. My unrealistic expectations set me up for feelings of failure. This ultimately resulted in a narrative about my inability to complete a commitment to spread within my heart. Obviously, that is not true, and is not fair.
Time, it is ok to take time. So here we are, and oh how I have learned, to give myself grace and embrace the thick of what we are in. It feels great to sit down once more, to feel the cold breeze waft into the room. It’s fresh, it’s exciting. I am fully aware that these moments we have are quickly passing. Seasons come and go, and after a long pause, I am ready to take up the pen and move forward with our move to a new home, with writing, and diving into a new community. The precious time “away”, has provided a richer perspective that I hope serves the process well.