Rest

Since moving into our new home three months ago, our family has not stopped moving.

*exhale* It’s been quite a ride.

What caused a lot of this momentum was the news that appeared on a tiny plastic wand nearly eight months ago. A baby! We are having a baby girl! What?! Oh dear, that will change things. Overjoyed. Thrilled.

How are we here so quickly? I am now one month away from the due date and this is our final time of “rest” before we begin yet another phase of life as a family of five.

There is much that I could share about the journey thus far. For starters, I could write about the fun of discreetly vomiting at my inlaws house at five weeks pregnant while trying to pack up our family for a trip back home – or the many trips to the doctors, with the toddlers in tow, and Phoebe’s cute little excuses that she can’t do anything because she is also pregnant. (What does that say about me and my excuses lately?)

I could write about a trip to visit Florida, Chicago, and New Mexico where we saw a hot air balloon festival and spent time with relatives we’ve been missing for quite some time.

Or I could write about watching the girls alone while Michael goes on a work trip or the week solo trip to England I took this November, where Marigold and I stood like sardines packed in a train as we made way to a writers’ retreat. Walks among medieval looking homes in the British countryside. Of the completed book proposal and new stories that filled notebook pages over tea.

Or I could write about a three-day trip that my family and some friends took to the ocean at the Nicoya peninsula. What it felt like to wake up at sunrise on the beach, not another soul in sight, as we all waited  for the golden sun to rise.

Or I could write about the intensity of leading a team of committed volunteers to a remote, indigenous island in Costa Rica where electricity and water are scarce, mosquitos are a million, and sweat falls like rain. The stories, the lives touched, and the difficult of short-term missions.

And yet, as I finally get time to sit here and let my fingers race to keep up with my mind, there is a gnawing realization that I need rest. The last two days, the dust has begun to settle, and I can feel my body shouting, “Alison, rest!” That is what is probably most necessary to share.

That I need rest. If for anything else than accountability’s sake, I need to make it known that rest is essential.

A few weeks ago, shortly after arriving home from a month long trip stateside, and a few days before my trip to England began, a trail of ants absolutely ticked me off, I went into an internal rage as I took a rag and smooshed them, “You are not welcome here!” I yelled at them. And then in my head I heard, “and I don’t think I can live here anymore.”

The thoughts made me stop. That’s not true, that’s a bit irrational. What is happening? What do I need? As an internal processor, once my thoughts hit the irrational it’s time to sit back and reflect, what is the thing beneath the thing?

So, that day I took out a notebook and wrote down those practical things I need – routine, exercise, rest, alone time, healthy food – all the things we all know we need, that have been preached in self-care classes all throughout college and graduate school. I know what I need. But yet, why am I not doing it? Boundaries. Priorities. And reflection. That day, I knew the next few months would be crazy, it was already planned out. So I resolved to remind myself to take moments alone to breathe in the midst of crazy, and then, once December comes, it would be time to get back on balance and prioritize.

December is here, and for me, the next four weeks leading up to Christmas are meant for rest. In what is known as the busiest season of the year – our family yearns for a pause. So, I am trying to plan less activity, to take it day by day and be OK with telling Phoebe that we have nothing else planned for the day, as she disappointedly whines.

I am hopeful that advent season will help remind me of why we are here, and lift that pedal to the metal mentality that has taken over my life from the minute I learned that we are welcoming another baby into the family.

So cheers to ending 2023 well and to welcoming 2024 with a new life on the horizon. Nothing better to remind us of what really matters.