2024 began with the birth of Gabie and continued at a crazy pace. It ended with my friend, Marigold, visiting from Ukraine! We’ve spent the last week deep diving into her stories, and I am so excited to finish a book with her this year! The title as it stands is Tears of God: How God Reveals Himself in War and Suffering. Yet it will likely change when we get a publisher. It’s been a journey.

I can hardly believe the first week of 2025 is done! What have I learned in 2024 and what do I want 2025 to look like? I’m so glad you asked – let’s see…

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The day before we left the States to return home – I visited my Grandpa Kaiser. He was recently diagnosed with dementia at 92 years old. As we sat to talk, he was grappling with the reality that his mind couldn’t remember words, people, places, or even how to do simple tasks. He described the embarrassing reality of having someone knock on your door to let you know that you’ve left the car door open, or worse, the car running. And then the sadness that it may be time to stop driving. What do you do when you’ve been praying through names your whole life but can no longer remember them – “well you know who, God.”

Then he suddenly switched to tell me, “You know what I’ve been thinking about? We all live in little worlds. And why don’t we care to know about the little worlds of others? I used to visit the farm every summer,” he continued, “and what I cared about most was goofing off with my cousin Dan and having a good time when the chores were done. My aunts and uncles were there, and so many people there, all with their little worlds. And I can’t figure out, why didn’t I care about what was happening in their lives as much as what I wanted to do with mine? So it got me thinking…

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There is joy in accomplishing a goal. Especially when the goal seems unbelievable, even unachievable.

We began training for the Chicago Marathon when I was three months post-partum. At the time, I couldn’t do a mile without walking. I remember gasping for air and checking my watch to see that the pace barely hit a 15-minute mile. How in the world we were going to run 26 was beyond me. Consistency is Key – they say. Isn’t that the truth for almost anything? Practice makes perfect. It’s the small moments…all those cliches – they are cliches for a reason.

Seven years ago, Michael and I ran the Chicago marathon two weeks before our wedding except we didn’t finish. He fainted at mile 25. MILE 25!!!! ONE MILE BEFORE THE FINISH LINE. It was every bit dramatic as it sounds.

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What a colorful world we live in. Antigua is a small city surrounded by three volcanoes. It has cobblestone streets, the cutest boutique shops, historic ruins and delicious food. Having traveled to more than 50 countries collectively, both Michael and I agree that Antigua is one of our favorite cities.

This was also our first time traveling as a family of five to a new location. I think it takes a lot of trial and error to get the hang of an enjoyable vacation with litte kids. We learned that slower is better, and sometimes a calm afternoon at the airbnb is better than an adventurous day out. Naptime is essential (for both them and us) and packing light does make things easier. On this trip we didn’t pack any diapers (we bought them there) and did a few loads of laundry to recycle our outfits.

Without further to do – I am going to share a few photos with our top three things from Antigua, Guatemala.

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This Monday, June 24th, my dear Aunt Heidi had a heart attack, and just like that she was gone. Totally unexpected. It was her day, it was her time.

For many reasons, I couldn’t make it to the small graveside service that was held earlier today. One of the biggest challenges of living abroad is missing out on the family life and events of our extended selves.

Yesterday I took advantage of a 20-minute nap interval to sit and ponder what impact her life has had on me. She was simple – she never wanted or needed much. As kids we would play with barbies on her bedroom floor or go on long walks together with Grandma. If it was raining, we would rollerblade in the basement while they did laps for exercise instead. She never said much but even so, her life still speaks. Without further to do – here is what I wrote and what my mother read on my behalf this morning at Heidis graveside service.

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Lately, we’ve been busy figuring out our next few months. Trying to enjoy our current lot in life, to not complain too much about babies and toddlers. Learning to live life with lack of sleep, messy floors, and constant noise. Because we know that waves of change are on the horizon. Before we know it the girls will be in school and our life will be dictated by the school schedule.

I was telling my friend the other day, that when things get hard, I seem to enjoy planning trips.  If I needed a sign, my current calendar fill for the next few months indicates that maybe life has been a bit hard. And yet, hard is not the same thing as bad (shout out to Abbie Halberstadt for that one).

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My 92 year old Grandpa Helmuth and Uncle Nate (the great!) visited us in Costa Rica last week. I am still in shock they came. It was delightful. We drove among the windy roads, ate a variety of foods, cooled off in a swimming pool, and watched our girls jump around with the simple joy that their presence brings.

One of the first things that Grandpa told me when I picked him up from the airport was that family is important. “That is why I came,” he said. And it’s true. I think what strikes me the most is his example of living out a value. It is one thing to have a phone conversation and hear my grandpa tell me that family is important but it is so much more powerful for my grandpa to get on the plane

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Gabie is here! Today marks two months since her birth.

Gabie entered the world quickly – the doctor didn’t even have time to make it to the hospital and my lovely doula caught baby girl with only Michael in the room. Of course I begged for an epidural at one point, but labor was too fast to allow for that. Ironically, I prayed for a natural delivery without pain killers, and God sure answered that one.

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The baby’s due date is three short days away. My parents arrive today to spend two weeks with us, and we are in this weird place of waiting. And in the waiting, we’ve entered a new year, which often involves a lot of pondering.

The big questions and little resolves. What do we want 2024 to look like?

As toddler parents, our new years eve celebration looked much different. We put the girls down early and enjoyed a night in with popcorn and hot chocolate. We tried to chat about the year ahead, but frankly were very tired and instead made a few observations, ultimately concluding that every year since our wedding has been unpredictable. Sure, there were some certainties we could hold onto, but most of the big life plans, travels, and changes caught us by surprise.

Since moving into our new home three months ago, our family has not stopped moving.

*exhale* It’s been quite a ride.

What caused a lot of this momentum was the news that appeared on a tiny plastic wand nearly eight months ago. A baby! We are having a baby girl! What?! Oh dear, that will change things. Overjoyed. Thrilled.

How are we here so quickly? I am now one month away from the due date and this is our final time of “rest” before we begin yet another phase of life as a family of five.

There is much that I could share about the journey thus far. For starters, I could write about the fun of discreetly vomiting at my in laws house at five weeks pregnant while trying to pack up our family for a trip back home – or the many trips to the doctors, with the toddlers in tow, and Phoebe’s cute little excuses that she can’t do anything because she is also pregnant. (What does that say about me and my excuses lately?)