This Is It
This morning I am sitting in a restaurant atop a volcano while Michael and his parents trek along with our two girls to see the crater. Time to eat alone, sit, and reflect has truly been a gift.
As the year comes to a close, I find myself yearning for time to reflect and prepare for whatever lay ahead.
Our family has been going non-stop this year. We have raced through changing routines with each new place or guest that comes our way. Phoebe, our two-year-old, has become so accustomed to airplanes that she keeps asking about our next trip. She also thinks she can manifest a new visitor simply by saying, “Yay! Eddy’s coming!” or “Yay! GG’s coming!” After all, isn’t that how it works, one day we start to talk about a trip on the airplane or visit from someone, and before we know it, it magically happens! I suppose that, just like her, I am learning that life ebbs and flows. And sometimes, more often than not, we can’t control it all.
I was recently reading a book where the author commented that at some stage in her parenting she came to the realization that “this is it.” That the personalities in her family, the craziness of the season, and present challenges were there to stay. Yes, we can hope for change. Strive for change, but there is a peace that comes in accepting the realities of the time.
This year, for me, has been so full of transition, changes, and challenges. Michael and I keep saying, “at some point we are going to get consistency.” Yet I’m beginning to think, perhaps this is it. There is freedom in accepting that this season will continue with an unsteady pace. To keep the seatbelt buckled, put my hands in the air, and enjoy the ride.
Surrendering my hopes for calmer days with a routine that last for weeks on end, frees me up to shift my attention to the discipline needed in the everyday. At this point in my life, I am not able to set up a routine that lets me know exactly what I’ll be doing or where we will be going every day, but I am able to set up a routine that teaches me who to be. A character building routine that sticks through thick or thin, in the good or bad, in the calm or raging seas.
Looking ahead, 2023 is a year that I hope to be faithful in the small things. To raise the girls with a consistent approach to parenting, regardless of our location. To follow through with commitments; whether that means working out, writing, or reading. To use my words wisely. To be faithful in giving grace: to my husband, my children, others, and myself. It’s a year to accept the inconsistent nature of our lives and to learn how to live intentionally regardless.